Our 5 Love Rules

Do you know what today is??  It's Friday!! If you're new to this blog, you may have been expecting something else.  I know there are many people who are celebrating a special day today but it's a holiday my husband and I have never celebrated as a couple even when we were dating.

I had an entire post written about the reasons we don't celebrate that holiday but it seemed so negative.  I also don't believe that our personal reasons for not celebrating a holiday are important.  So instead, I decided to make a post simply about love.

My husband spent several years studying contract law so he's all about putting things in writing.  I've somewhat curbed his enthusiasm with contracts as it relates to our relationship because there is nothing romantic about reading legalese or signing paperwork!  We've settled for coming to many verbal agreements about how our relationship will function and how we treat each other.

I'd like to share Our 5 Love Rules (in no particular order) that make our marriage work:

1. Always speak to each other in a loving and kind way.  If stubborn was a person it would be a photoshopped combined image of the two of us.  We are both strong-willed and opinionated and that makes for some pretty heated discussions.  We both realized this early on and it took us some time to figure out how to manage our bull-ish personalities.  Our agreement: If you can't say it with kindness, find another way to say it or don't say it at all.  What a difference a verbal contract makes!  I believe this single understanding has had the greatest impact on our relationship. I never have to fear his reaction to something I say or do because I know he will speak to me in a kind way when we discuss it.
2. We cater to each other and contribute equally to making the household run smoothly.  My husband is very traditional, some would even say old-fashioned.  He believes the husband goes to work and the wife stays at home (and that's fine by me).  Since he works outside of the house, I spend most of the day cleaning and preparing meals.  There are times; however, when I have things to do outside of the home or (especially since I'm pregnant) I'm just plain tired.  Our agreement: We take care of each other and create a beautiful life together. My husband may come home, cook dinner, and clean up the kitchen.  I may take out the trash, put gas in his work truck, or help him with admin work or supply ordering for his business.  We don't pressure or force each other into our traditional roles.  We jump in and help when we see something that needs to be done.
3. We celebrate life every day. I know it seems so cliche but we really do. This is also much more his thing than mine but I'm slowly getting better.  For the record, we do not celebrate any European holidays but we've designated special holidays that have meaning for our family.  Because of that, we have to be conscious of the fact that often months pass without a special occasion that forces us to pause, reflect, or rejoice.  Our agreement: Don't wait for the perfect time to do the things you want.  Find a way to do it today and enjoy the ride. My husband is the spontaneous one between the two of us.  While we still have the freedom to do so, we take weekend road trips, seek out adventure, and buy a bottle of bubbly (sparkling cider) just because!
4. We spend special time together every day. Again, with no children, this is not hard to achieve so bear with me. I also promise to update this list once our little one comes. Neither of us were youngsters when we met -- I was 37 and he was 42.  We both were determined to wait for the right person before settling down into marriage.  I believe because of this, we don't take each other for granted.  I can honestly say for myself that I had thrown in the towel on love and marriage before I met my husband.   Our agreement: Tell each other how you feel often and cherish our time together.  Sometimes we both have days so busy that we don't get settled down for our couple time until bedtime but we still don't neglect this.  As far as I'm concerned, a kiss goodnight while looking lovingly into your partner's eyes counts as special time. 
5. We always think positive.  This is again something hubby is much better at than me.  While our marriage is still new, we have overcome several obstacles during our time together.  We hit a financial setback early on that had us close to losing our home and I've already mentioned our headstrong personalities.  Our agreement: Always speak and think positively.  I've heard people talk about the power of positive thinking but my husband is the first person I have ever met who actually lives this mantra.  I have to say, his energy is contagious.  Whenever we go through hard times, he's the first to put a positive spin on the situation and work on solutions.  Our marriage is going to work because we believe it's going to work.  We've already spoken it into existence; therefore, the universe must comply.

What are some spoken or unspoken rules you and your significant other follow?

Black love is a revolutionary act.